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The fancy colors get a bit busted when exporting the google docs file and then opening back up in google docs so the in app link is preferred while the xlsx file is just for backup.Īlthough I tried to make this first public release a solid starting point, I look forward to hearing any input. An example would be having a core set of likes, but interested in doing shibari with one person yet would rather look into spanking with a different person.įormat wise I tried to make an older 2003 format one so more versions could open and use it. This is a common want with varying activity interest depending on play partners. Another big plus is once one is filled out, it is easy to adjust and make new variants. I went ahead and left out extreme stuff such as bestiality since typically illegal, however thanks to the Excel format it is easy for anyone to add something they feel is missing. Just skip around to the sections that interest you to share about with others. My main advice would be to hang in there and not feel like everything has to be filled out. I wanted to make sure to have the core list overall complete, but this may come off as a bit much to beginners. This way one can quickly see the Loves and Hates then go back for a second pass for finer detail. It may look busy at first, but the color coding really helps making the checklist scan-able for key information. The notes section can be really handy to give a quick declaration of why one gave the interest level for said item or clarify special circumstances. For a while it was considered mostly just accounting type software, but now thanks to Google Docs and other online systems the Excel file format is much more accessible.Īs for the main layout I wanted to make sure someone could declare interest, existing experience, and then a section for notes to clarify any particulars. Ranging from pdfs, to doc files, to websites, they all were pretty much a mess and then it came to me that trying to use an Excel file was a no brainer. On my research to find a decent preexisting checklist it seemed something was always missing, they weren't always easy to share, and the data on a completed checklist wasn't always easy to review. Using Excel as the main platform it may come off a bit nerdy, however the format is much easier to open and use these days. Switches should go through the checklist twice one persons Dom and Sub interests may be quite different.After scouring the net and generally not being satisfied with any checklists out there I took matters in my own hands to make one that would be an obvious improvement. Doms and subs may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. This will provide a quick “head-start” to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Complete this list as a reflection of who you are at this point in time and journey. The things we love, enjoy, are sceptical about or won’t even consider change throughout our journey. Take a look at the listed kinks and fetishes and think about where each one fits into your personal limits currently. Here at Dom(me)’s Life, we have prepared a list to help get you started. Mowing, doing taxes, going to work, writing essays, and so forth for example aren’t fun, but they aren’t limits, you just do like them or care much about them.Ĭheck sheets can help you define your own likes and limits. Not A Limit: Something that you don’t enjoy, but doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable or put yourself at risk or trigger you in anyway. Soft limits, from my perspective, are the things I’m unsure of but I’ll try at least once, although I reserve the right to make it a hard limit if it really bothers me. Broadening the conversation to include likes and soft limits can open a whole world of opportunity. And there’s a good reason we tend to focus on them – making someone do something they desperately don’t want to do is a violation of trust and it shows a lack of consent or even an understanding of the importance of consent.īut that’s not the only conversation you should have about likes or limits. What sounds so disgusting and horrible that we (kind of, sort of) wonder what might be wrong with people who do like it. What grosses us out or is something we cannot tolerate, what gives us a bad feeling.
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As you explore, what you’re okay with and what you’re not will likely change, so it’s important to keep a running dialogue about your likes and limits. Your kinks may not perfectly align with your partner’s, and that’s okay. Before trying any new sex act, obtaining enthusiastic, continuous consent from all parties involved is a must. No matter what you’re into, kink is about consent, communication, and compromise. Knowing what you can and cannot do is vital in most areas of life.